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Every time I begin to have some sort of attraction to someone I stop myself.  I’m not beautiful, I’m fat and disgusting. I’m weird and gross. No one would ever like the fat weird girl. No one is ever going to love me the way I need to be loved because I’m a disgusting pig with an attitude. My personality is so distasteful for my appearance. Like my mother once said, “You aren’t allowed to be rude and blunt when you are fat and a slob, that just makes you look more disgusting.”