— Meggie C. Royer, from “When We Meet, Follow This Checklist For Loving A Sad Girl”

You haven’t yet met me. I am the girl who calls herself a woman

because the latter sounds more desirable than the former,

the one who fell asleep with a ripe peach in her mouth

and woke up the next day after her sister had miscarried

with only the pit left between her teeth.

I have been building a home out of my sadness. One day

I will be evicted, but you don’t know that yet. When we meet

for the first time, our eyes will become two fish swimming

against the current just to reach each other again. Your body

will be like a Sunday: lazy and curved, and I will hold

you as if I am afraid of breaking you. But you will be rough with me,

and I will like it that way. It will take you a few months,

but eventually you will realize that I ask you to tie my hands

to these stars like a crucifixion because I am trying to be ruined.

You are the only one who can carry out the task.

Loving me will not be easy. Some days I will be a stuttering apology

and you won’t know how to handle all the things I’ve done wrong.

Be patient with me. Go slow.

But remember, always, that you haven’t yet met me.

I will materialize

when you least expect it.