You probably don't know

You probably don't know
How much you mean to me
Since the first day I met you
When you became the first guy who told me that I have a great smile

You probably don't know
How comfortable I feel
When I'm being around you
That I can truly be myself in front of you without getting judged

You probably don't know
How you've become the person
To think first when I'm awake and last when I'm going asleep
That I just want to share all of my joy and sadness with you

You probably don't know
How much attention I want from you
I'm just a girl that would love to punch every girl in the face
That gives you a second look

You probably don't know
How many guys I've rejected
Because I keep hoping that we would/could work it out
All I wanted was you, and still you

You probably don't know
How much I want to admit that I have feelings for you
When your friends make fun of us
But I can't because I don't want to ruin our "friendship"

You probably don't know
How hurt I feel
When you started to neglect me
I keep wondering every single fucking day that what I have done wrong

You probably don't know
How much I want to talk to you
But I'm just too scared to make a move
Because I know you always have other better things in your life

You probably don't know
How much it kills me
When you don't even tell me that you're back from overseas
It's like I no longer exist in your life

You probably don't know
How many times I've cried for you because of how you treat me now
But also smiled whenever I recall the good moments we had back then
I'm slowly going fucking nuts

You probably don't know
How closed I'm to giving up
But the memories, your face, your smile, everything of you keep holding me back
I just can't because there's so much to remember

Yeah
You probably don't fucking know
I love you so much
That it fucking kills me