。

Have you ever laid on your bed at night, and just cried? 

Cried because you're ugly. 

Because you're not good enough. 

You counted all your flaws from head to toe, 

to punish and feel worse about yourself. 

Cried because the comments people blurt out, actually hurt your feelings. 

You don't want to be a burden, so you bottled it all up. 

Around people, you're the happiest ray of sun shine. 

But nobody knows, 

that at night when you're alone, 

you break down and just cry.

I hate getting used to something.

Whether it’s a person or thing. 

You get used to somebody, like having them around. 

You talk to them, get close. 

They become part of your daily routine. 

Getting used to them making you happy or smile. 

The way they cheer you up when you’re down. 

But then it stops. 

They are no longer a part of your routine. 

It feels different, you miss them.

 And it just sucks.

Words and thoughts

If you're going to come in my life, can you at least make the effort of trying to stay here?

If you're going to leave, just leave and stop coming back.

Don't think you can walk in and out whenever you please and talk to me just when you want.

Keep it consistent please.

You're fucking me up.

It's amazing how at one point in our lives we will be extremely close with someone and then later they will become a complete stranger.

You will pass by them without a word.

Without a single acknowledging look.

This person, when once knew you so well, who once knew your fears, your desires, your dreams, your past, is now walking right past you, seeing right through you.

The thing about breaking up is you normally stop talking to each other.

So everything's different.

You no longer have someone to text all day, or hang out with on the weekends, and the late night phone calls.

You no longer have your best friend.

For a while, it feels as if the your whole life is about to change, and nothing will be the same.

It's a sucky feeling.

And why am I still holding on?

Simple.

Because I still have hope.

I don't want to think he doesn't care anymore.

I don't want to think I'm being forgotten.

It's the only thing that keeps me going.

The only thing that gives me hope.

Please don't try to take that away from me.

It's the only thing that helps me feel okay.

不懂

你還在乎我嗎……？

This has happened to you.

There's a boy, you start texting him.

You're talking to him and you think you guys have a lot in common and you think he's cool.

You start texting him more and more, the texting is every single day now.

You guys start using smiley faces, wink faces, hearts, etc.

You're texting from the time you wake up to when you close your eyes and sleep at night.

He tells you he loves you.

You start telling each other it daily.

You're falling harder and harder at this point.

You're constantly talking.

You like this boy.

You want to be with him all of the time.

You like talking to him at all times, and you like how sweet he is to you.

Then, one day, he randomly doesn't text you back.

The texts are more distant now, they're getting less sweet.

The texts are getting short.

He slowly stops talking to you.

You're done.

You're ignored.

You don't talk.

You're heartbroken.

You don't know what happened, what you did.

You're left feeling alone and hopeless.

你的世界就讓你擁有 不打擾是我的溫柔

寧願對自己狠心、絕情一點

也不想繼續再痛下去

原來要BLOCK掉一個很在乎很在乎的人

真的需要很大很大的勇氣

可是既然你已經對我反感

開始討厭我

老實說我真的不知道自己做錯什麼

我試過解釋過給你聽

可是似乎你都不了解……

所以我想我們是根本不可能的了

我也不希望自己再繼續對你有絲毫留戀

就讓這一切結束吧

黎楚勤

我會對你說多最後一次“我愛你”

從此以後

不再為你心疼 :')

麻醉

這幾天都過到很不開心

唯有把生活變得忙碌

算是麻醉自己吧

師姐畫的亮鑽妝

油濕妝

謝謝子豐當我的模特兒 :)

今天畫的歐式豔妝

ANGIE變成了“鬼婆” @@

177CM的她真的好像個模特兒 ><

羨慕妒忌恨 ._.

近期的自拍

唉 真的好憔悴

連上課都要化妝去才行

嗯 就這樣

An awesome outing with 呂布 :)

私服 XD

啊啊真的瘦了很多 :DDD

妝容～

因為很懶惰的關係= =

所以就隨便眼線睫毛膏就出門了呵呵

去到TS

結果呂布打來說遲到=3=

不過他說就當作請看戲賠罪

原諒他好了 XD

所以我們去看了Zookeeper

我擦勒笑死我們了 XDDDDDD

之後我們再到星巴克坐坐

原本想叫那份蛋糕

結果沒有……

原本想坐回那個位子

結果被人坐了……

我的是照舊的iced caramel chocolate

呂布的是extra coffee java chips frappucino

  

lol這麼多tissue 很不環保 XD

唉於是就隨便坐了

和呂布一邊喝茶一邊聊天

媽的我笑到不能呼吸啦 XD

聊到一些東西時

臭呂布說錯話搞到我快哭了= =

哈哈emo XD

之後再隨便逛一下就回家了

真的很開心

尤其是和一個那麼會談笑的人出門

雖然剛才他說錯話讓我想哭= =

不過整體來說就是很開心啦

真希望每個星期都這樣

就算是一個人也好

看戲 星巴克

超喜歡這樣的享受

可惜要花蠻多錢= =

所以唉還是久久一次算了 :(

And I know this day would come, as expected.

一個人。

無法改變的事實

最後我就是一個人過活了

人生從來沒有朋友這兩個字

他們一開始會對你好

和你聊天和你玩

可是到最後

他們都會離你而去

以前的中學朋友

所謂的死黨

距離也越來越遠了

遠到從每天都哈拉變去一天裡半句話也沒說過的那種

論壇的朋友

自從8個月前的BBQ和SKYPE上的輝哥飯局後

現在如同陌生人

看到他們坐在一起歡聚時

有著莫名的難過

以前學院的朋友

更加不用提了

好像根本就沒和他們好過

遇到對方都只是說說客套話就走了

現在學院的朋友

不想提

原以為是姐妹

結果……

一樣的事情還是發生了

人家說

朋友不需要多

知心的一兩個就好

問題是

我半個都沒有

從來不知道自己原來是那麼在乎友情的

可是越在乎

就越受傷

難道我的生命中就只有家人嗎？

說到家人

也不是說很好罷了

無端端

姐姐就和我還有二哥反面了

總覺得不好的事情還在後頭

最近過到真的很不順利

真想有個人會抱著我

我不要他說“一切都會變好的”

我只想要被抱著

讓我大哭一場

不再壓抑

不再偽笑

這就足夠了……

You don't want to read this.

Do I get jealous? Yes.

Do I cry randomly? Yes.

Do I cry myself to sleep? Yes.

Do I miss you every second you're gone? Yes.

Do I feel lonely at times? Yes.

Do I need you? Yes.

Do I need someone to talk to you? Yes.

Do I like to be left alone sometimes? Yes.

Do I need a daily hug? Yes.

Do I love someone? Yes.

Do I care about someone? Yes.

Do I have feelings? Yes.

Do I get hurt? Yes.

Do I fight? Yes.

I'm only human.

I HATE WHEN PEOPLE PROMISE THINGS.

you can’t promise forever. 

you can’t promise you’re not going to do something, 

or that you won’t hurt another person. 

Forever is a long time and people get hurt daily. 

so why make a promise you can’t keep?

=

No, I'm not a bitch.

I've just been through a few things,

seen a few things, been there and done that.

Yes, I guess I'm cold now.

But only because I once gave a damn

about someone who didn't give a fuck about me.

I've built a wall around myself,

to protect my heart from more hurt and damage.

I won't believe you if you tell me you're different.

Unless you stick around and prove it.

Words no longer mean a thing,

your actions are everything.

hello

好久沒更新了

因為最近狀態都不是很好

沒有激情、動力

還好沒有影響到上課的表現

啊這是這幾天學的東西

廣告攝影裸妝

這個只有14歲的小妹妹來自麻坡

和一群一樣是14歲的小妹妹們來這裡比賽

結果在TS逛街時就被我和EMIN發現到

把全部人都帶上去當模特兒哈哈哈

樂齡女士妝（日妝+晚妝）

感謝FISH的媽媽幫忙找模特兒

那天也是我最不開心的一天

因為我真的好希望當模特兒的是媽媽 而不是別人

而且媽媽的眼皮沒有這個auntie的松= =

夏季彩妝

可以說是目前為止最有挑戰性的彩妝

它難在那個框著眼睛的形狀和那條細細的線條

我做了兩天

成果都還不是很理想

有點難過 :(

最近日子都過得好平靜

可是mind卻很吵

不知道自己在想+煩什麼

唉 人空虛久了就會這樣

尤其是週末

還好媽媽多9天就回來了

真的很想念她

有時候寧願被她罵到哭

也好過自己一個人在家寂寞到流淚

-

Sometimes, you just can't tell everybody how you feel.

It's not because you don't want them to know,

not because you don't want them to get hurt,

and not because you don't trust them.

But because,

you can't find the right words to make them truly understand.

.....

peoplefuckingleave.

ababababa

ifuckinghatemyselfallofthesuddenijustwanttoawayfrompeopleiwanttoescapeorjustdisappear

gurghtuhgbtuhg

yesicantshowupmyselfwithoutmakeupthisisthetruthofcourseyoudontmindbecauseyourenottheuglyoneiknowyourebornedprettysoidontblameyouyouwouldntunderstandandyoudonthavetounderstandkthxbye

:(

I'm beginning to think you were a waste of time,

that I've spent all of this time on falling more and more for you,

and you're just going to throw it away like it's nothing.

You don't care,

and you never did.

I don't know what I was thinking.

I'm sick of the same thing happening every time.

昨天

真是难熬的一天

也发现不是什么工作都是说做就做的

昨天美容院的人一下子教了很多东西

包括使用爆脂机和肩膀按摩

看上去很简单

可是真正去做时真的有很多步骤要去记

技巧、力道等

真的很难

对美容这方来说其实我也不是说很有兴趣的意思

当初只是想说学一样得一样

可是真是太难了

我了解东西要学久了才会上手

可是问题在于：

他们好像要我今天就一定要学会

我已经很用心了

结果老板娘竟然说：

别玩嘛！专心点可以吗？

…………………………

请问，

你是我肚子里的那条虫吗？

不是的话

请你不要乱说

我很想去学好

可是一次过教了那么多东西

我跟不上或者稍微做错了点你就怪我了吗？

我也没做过这一行

我的手暂时来说只会拿化妆扫和笔

动作生硬了点有罪吗？

为什么你不给我时间呢？

……既然这样

我也无需再浪费时间在你的店了。

妈妈也觉得这对我不利

我答应她了

会更加努力学好化妆

这次不止付出200%的努力

而是300%！

这件事后

我更爱彩妆了

于是我又失业了。

不过在家的日子

我会更加把家务打理得井井有条

不能让妈妈失望！

宅死了……

没上课都已经很无聊了

还天天呆在家

有时候也很想出去透透气

window shopping也好

在家

妈妈去了姐姐那儿

二哥去上班

只剩下我一个人

不是对着墙壁

就是电脑

家务则成了我的好朋友

可是他们都不会说话……

我做的“黯然销魂饭”

好无聊啊……………………

想念妈咪

想念朋友们

想念他

哀家炒的不是饭，是寂寞